Sunday, December 4, 2011

Alphabet Day 20: J

My J day: jazz hands, jacket (the one I've been sleeping in for two nights), jeans (the same pair I've worn for the last four days), Jessup and Williams Late Night Talk Show internship (one 10 minute episode, but I never let them down), juices grape and pineapple, Jewish star that I put up and then had to take down, Jabberwocky, John Mayer (only about a quarter of the fourteen hours of songs I have),  Jason's hair, just the usual singing Aaron Neville on the Santa Monica Pier, and jelly candy that tasted disgusting.

J song: Joe Purdy - "Daisy"

J word: jalapeño

Jalapeños are the most fun word to write. Jalapeño. Jalapeño. Jalapeño. It's even fun to type. Because Jill had so much fun writing, typing, and saying the word "jalapeño," she thought that, surely jalapeños must be the most delicious food in all the land.

So, Jill packed up the Jeep and headed to the grocery store. Yes, she had to pack up the Jeep because she couldn't go anywhere without a suitcase and an ice chest. To be honest, I don't know Jill that well, but she comes off pretty sketchy.

Anyway, she went to the grocery store. She searched aisles upon aisles for the jalapeños. Finally, she found them in between jack cheddar and the jock itch relief cream. Apparently, Jill goes to a grocery store that organizes things alphabetically. See? She's pretty sketchy.

Well, she finds the jalapeños. She buys them. She goes home. She unpacks. She eats a jalapeño.

Then, her throat closes up, and she starts to sweat. She can't breathe. She tries to make it to the phone to call 911, but she can't. Clutching her throat, she reaches for a pen and paper. Well, this part is assumed because the police found her dead in her house, and if she could have reached the phone, we hope she would have.

Anyway, they found her note, and it said, "F*ck you, jalapeños." See? Even as she was dying, she thought it was a very fun word to write.


- Barbara

No comments:

Post a Comment