"This B is TV-Free": Day Fourteen

If "enough" "people" watch this, I'll post a "bonus" video... of all the yawns I cut out of these last two videos. Strep makes you sleepy as fuck, whatever that means!

Another failed impression for you. Darrell Hammond called and asked me not to ruin his (Ethan) craft anymore.

Thanks for everything, all the time always.

"This B is TV-Free": Day Thirteen

My body is practically shut down at the moment, so it's hard for me to think. Hopefully I can do comedy again tomorrow.

In the meantime, Amy Poehler.

Also, thanks for spending time on this. Maybe it's nothing to you, but it's everything to me... I don't get much sappier than that.

"This B is TV-Free": Day Twelve

I apologize for my manners in this video, but I'm about to pass out hardcore to some Nyquil, so I ain't got time to care.

Anyway, enjoy my sordid affair with Panda Express.

And, also, Jennifer Lawrence.

Dear Lovelies, I love you. Love, B (Beyonce and/or Barbara)

"This B is TV-Free": Day Eleven

JENNIFER LAWRENCEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just can't even.

And I'm running on caffeine for the first time in like a week anddddd headache tomorrow for sure, totally worth it, for not sure.

Another impression in there for you guys.

Thank you thank you thank you!

"This B is TV-Free": Day Ten

Well, this is officially the earliest in the day I've ever posted the video. Now, let me do nothing else the rest of the day...

And I am aware that "Best Actress in a Leading Movie" is not a category... but it should be.

Thanks, I love you, some of you, figure it out.

"This B is TV-Free": Day Nine

Another one with guest stars! The other one I planned a lot, and this one I planned not at all. Two very different experiences, both very fun, both kind of hard to cut.

The best thing about this was that something was FINALLY spoiled for me. I had no idea about what was going on with Ann Perkins and Chris. That's a genuine reaction. And that was pretty cool.

Also, who knew we had so many musicians up in here? Thanks for everything, all the time always.

"This B is TV-Free": Day Eight

You'll notice (you probably won't) that I just start talking about today, Thursday, like it is yesterday, Wednesday, but, in a way, in context, yesterday is today... and today is the future? That has been the hardest thing, keeping the timeline straight. And having a holiday on Monday, like, what is this week?

Also, I cut my finger on the ironing BOARD. Clarity, Barbara. 

Thank you, lovelies, for watching or not watching. Thank you for being lovelies.

"This B is TV-Free": Day Seven

Back to me, hanging out, alone, and talking to myself.

One week in, and there is still two minutes of footage where I just sit around until I am comfortable enough to speak. THAT shit is funny.

And I got some new glasses today. Which are sitting on top of my head... cool story, bro!

"This B is TV-Free": Day Six

THIS video, more than any of the others before (collect all five!), has been a real journey. Shooting with other people made me a lot less nervous, and I really enjoyed it. I actually felt really comfortable.

However, something that cracks you up in a room with someone else might not actually be that funny for others to watch. Kind of why you never really see characters laughing on screen. No one at Dunder Mifflin laughed at Michael Scott, but audiences would laugh until they couldn't breathe for seven seasons. It's interesting. To me. Maybe not to you.

I know these girls are hilarious. I think this is funny. I've been cutting it for three and a half hours (yea, that's what I'm doing with all this "no-TV" time), so I hope that it is at least mildly entertaining.

Watch things get weird with us.

And drink. Drink heavily. 

Thanks, again, to everyone who reached out over the last few days.

"This B is TV-Free": Day Five

This was a brutal one.

Let me first explain the reasoning to shoot in a murder shack, aka my garage. I'm still to nervous to do this with anyone within earshot. With a roommate in a one bedroom apartment, that is nearly impossible, so the garage or my car are really my only options. It's silly, I know.

And it's not funny, so I had to cheat it in a few places (why it looks so horrible too). But I'm sticking to it, and hopefully the next one is better. Everybody's learning shit up in here.

It's at least shorter than the others, so I hope it's not too insufferable. Thanks again for all that you do. Any thoughts, suggestions, requests - hit me up!

"This B is TV-Free": Day Four

Hey, do you like Beyonce? Then this video is definitely for you... again. Always going on about Beyonce.

Also, I do a terrible Fred Armisen impression, so there's that to look forward to.

Thanks, as always, for putting up with this.

"This B is TV-Free": Day Three

Changing up the location!!!!!!! CRAZY BUDGETS. BIG PRODUCTION. COMPANY MOVES.

I apologize for the Photo Booth Inception experience that makes it look like I drive on the passenger side of the car. Oh, I mean, I did. "We" moved the "show" to England.

Thanks, as always, for the support, well-wishes, and for not calling me out on this shit in public places.

"This B is TV-Free": Day Two

This one is pretty boring, folks. I was more nervous than Day One, and my neighbor was making a lot of noise, so I thought he was listening and judging and hating and I was afraid to speak... alone... in my apartment. ALSO I WAS SUPER SAD ABOUT MISSING PARKS AND REC.

I'm hoping to get better at this. Thanks for your support. Or thanks for not telling me it sucks! Those are real friends.

I get all confused with my verb tenses because it's so weird remembering what day I'm in and what day I'm talking about... I also say "assuming" a lot. THANKS FOR POINTING OUT MY FLAWS.

This B is TV-Free: Day One

Part of my New Year's Resolution (the ol' NYR, if you will) was to try more things that make me uncomfortable... the pap smear was fun and all, but I thought I'd mix it up with something else, which I thought fit perfectly with my courageous sacrifice of giving up television for Lent. So, I'm going to try putting myself in front of the camera talking about that and being boring about that. Not because I WANT to be there by any means, but mostly because I think it will open up another aspect of comedy that I haven't explored before. Basically, just know that this isn't just a shitty video blog (it is).

Without further ado...

God, don't I just sound like a young Max Greenfield. The voice every woman wishes she had.

And this is still a work in progress. I'm open for feedback, but I won't listen to criticism... just kidding, let's build something together...?

TV-Free, the rules

I'm giving up television for Lent. Me. I know.

Get over it. I am.

I'm not. At all.

However, I've already had a hundred questions about my choice (3), so I'm just going to lay down the rules here for all my followers (3). Without further ado...

Barbara's TV-Free Lent FAQ's

1. Why?
Great question.

2. What qualifies as "television"?
I'm not watching any of my shows, and I'm not picking up any new shows during Lent. This means not live on my television screen, not recorded over the Slingbox, nothing later on Hulu, Netflix, or the various illegal sites that open 50 windows, most of them porn. I can't find clips on Youtube and slowly piece the entire episode together. I'm not outlawing gif's because those are unavoidable, and those are still pictures... placed sequentially after one another to create movement... DETAILS. Oh, but I DO plan on watching the Oscars because Adele and Norah will be playing and movies and shit.

3. Aren't you going to be a crazy bitch about spoilers?
No, because I'm a decent human being. Plus, I will be reading all about everything always, so let's talk about it. Let's gab. Also, I will allow recreations. They are actually encouraged. Hit me up.

4. Won't your life lack a purpose?
Didn't Christ die on the cross for us so that we might feel worthless and depressed all the time? No? What am I thinking of? High school? I just want to see what I can accomplish with these extra ten hours a week. I've set the bar pretty low, considering the first thing I did with my first TV-free-hour is write about my TV-free-hour.

5. How do you feel about your choice?

SO, there's that. Stay tuned, I plan on journaling my feelings about all of this from here on out... because I have a lot of them.