Sunday, March 31, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Days Forty Five and Forty Six


Can you even believe it? Are we even the same people we were forty-six days ago? I certainly don't feel like it. I mean, I use a new shampoo and everything.

Everything I want to say to you is in the video...

To be honest, as much as I yell and scream, I loved doing these. I think I want to keep doing them, somehow... still trying to figure out what would justify that. 

I do know one thing for sure, I will not be doing them every day, unless someone feels like throwing money at me. I never sleep anymore, which is kind of terrible. Sure, I didn't spend 50ish hours watching television, but I guarantee I spent almost twice that on these videos. Which is ALMOST the opposite of what I hoped to accomplish with this Lent. 

Still, it was something new that I hadn't done before, and I am proud of that, I guess. Who can say.

One last time, Nashville.

"This B is TV-Free": Days Forty Three and Forty Four

I had a lot of trouble with this one. Technologically, speaking... is there any other way to speak, really? But it's my own fault because I tried to run two computers and blerg.

Also, I know how to edit a match cut thingie whatever, but this does not look like I even know how to tie my own shoe. It also looks like I don't know how to add.

If it looks like a duck...

Thank you, lovelies, for sticking with me this long.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Forty Two

If I'm every bankrupt, I might auction off this fleece, as it is such a celebrity these days...

As this comes to a close, I gotta say, thanks for the love.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Forty One

Getting near the end, folks, and I fear that I am just going to be tired in all of them... So, if you have any thoughts or suggestions, hit me up so that I can make these last few better than me falling asleep all the time always.

You're gonna make me lonesome when you go. Thanks and love, me.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Forty

Even though this is not the end of Lent, this is Day Forty... which is kind of a big deal. Also, reading mail from my parents sort of brings it full circle for me from Day One when I read their Valentine's card "on the air."

That seems like ages ago. And to be completely dramatic, I don't even recognize myself anymore from back then. I'm like totally a totally different person, totally.

I love you too.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Thirty Nine

Sometimes I wonder, and sometimes some of you ask if I will keep doing this after Lent. So, days like today, when there is no talk of television, are a good Magic 8 Ball into this potential future.

After today, I'd say "outlook looks bleak."

I just had a lot of feelings on my chest, in my chest, deep in my heart, that I needed to share with the world. Because for me, this day was truly memorable, in the first concert, first dance, first love kind of way... what am I even saying anymore?

Without further ado:

Thank you to you guys. Thank you to Julie Foudy. Thank you to Mia Hamm. Thank you to Sundays.

"This B is TV-Free": Days Thirty Seven and Thirty Eight

Another twofer! I think in my brain I said, "Oh, this is two videos, so, Barbara, just blab on and on for as long as you want."

So, that's what I did!

Grassy-ass, ameeegasss.

Friday, March 22, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Thirty Six

Oh, brother. Another delayed video. But because of traffictraffictraffic on the 405 (whattttttrrrreee youuuuuururuuruuuu doing hurrrrrr, Stuart?) I could not stay awake to edit this.

But, I am, after all, only human.

The next one will arrive WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE. 

Thanks, love you to the moon and back.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Thirty Five

Oh, what is this? Who knows? As of print, the eye situation is still a situation. MAKE IT STOPPPP.

By the way, congrats, "Kim"! Luv ya, mean it.

Luv ya guys too. Really mean it. As much as I love Rory Gilmore.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Thirty Four

The only potentially funny/remotely uplifting thing I did today was fill out my March Madness bracket, so that's exactly why I talk about it.

Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of important stuff to say about it. I'm not just wasting time and taking up space...

Unsurprisingly, doing a video with my blanket made me extra sleepy, but I loved it so much, will do business again. 

Thanks, y'all. Because I'm from Texas.

Monday, March 18, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Thirty Three

While shooting this, I knew I was doing a Maya Rudolph character, but I couldn't remember which one. It wasn't until after that I realized it was "Bronx Beat." So, if you catch the reference, we're cool.

Otherwise, shut up, Barbara.

Thank you. Thank you. For all that you do.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Thirty Two


I should be glad because it means I'm not missing anything, but for now it means I have nothing to talk about. And I don't like it.

Also, here is a link to the FULL Luck of the Irish "film":

Hope you McLovelies have a super St. Patrick's Day. Thanks for being McAwesome. McMc.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Thirty One

Trying something new. Mmmm, trying something easy.

I feel like I'm slipping more and more into a video induced coma where I sleepwalk through the day, and I don't want that to happen.

And sleep.

You're great.

"This B is TV-Free": Day Thirty

Oh, sound.

To hear it, it needs to be loud. And clear. And not drowned out by the desperate cries for attention from a laptop.

Oh, sound.

It's bad in this one. I even reshot some stuff to try to make it better, but here we are. 

If you have questions about something I say that you can't understand, just ask me. Loudly. Clearly. Preferably not in front of a fan or a radio (who has these anymore?) or a vacuum or a shooting range. Show me the decency I never showed you.

R.I.P. Blanket Fort. 12:34am-12:42am.

Thank you for putting up with this, no matter how weird it or I get.

Friday, March 15, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Twenty Nine

Why do I do this to myself?

I have a lot to say about this project. A lot of "lessons learned" that I will share when it is all said and done I guess.

In the meantime: why do I do this to myself so late at night?

Thanks to all of you. There's a special place in hell with your name on it. With me and Tina and Amy and maybe also past contestants of the Bachelor.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

"This B is TV Free": Day Twenty Eight

At some point, I start talking like I'm on a panel. A very specific panel about Veronica Mars, the Pope, and Cougar Town.

Seriously, let's get this whole "from Justin to Kelly thing going. Hashtag it, trend it, share it, like it, love it, live it.

Thank you. You make'a my dreams come true. (doo doo)

"This B is TV-Free": Day Twenty Seven

Can't believe how long I can talk about Safe Haven, but how little I can talk about cats. Like I always say, I'm learning more and more about myself.

Is that enough 30 Rock references for everybody?

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Twenty Six

I have been informed that it actually takes SIXTY-six days for something to become a habit. I haven't done too many things 66 days in a row, maybe just the one thing...

So call me Barbara, Habitually Alive.

I would apologize for this being so long, but I just had a lot of emotions and feelings and thoughts and comments to share. And, now, you don't have to see the movie, except you'll probably be jonesing for it after this review.

Thanks for always being awesome.

Monday, March 11, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Days Twenty Four and Twenty Five

Well, I once read that if you do something 26 days in a row it becomes a habit. Of course, I can only make it to 24 videos before slipping up.

Days of sniffing glue, however...

Anyway, here is FOR THE FIRST TIME, a double-up episode. A Twofer. Hashtag exclusive, hashtag world premiere, hashtag look how weird hashtag looks written out.

Also, to make up for slacking off, I want to provide a bit of a sneak peek at tomorrow's "episode" as well. I have such high hopes for this one.

See what I mean?

Sunday, March 10, 2013

"This B is TV Free": Day Twenty Four

There's some technical difficulties with this episode... as in, I'm technically too tired to do it.

Maybe I'll double up tomorrow, maybe I won't. Maybe spring forward daylight savings can go fuck itself.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Twenty Three

So many technology-ical-icicle issues with this one. All things considered, it turned out okay. All things considered, great show on NPR.

Thanks on thanks on thanks.

Friday, March 8, 2013

"This B is TV Free": Day Twenty Two

I started this one late, and I didn't have any thoughts about it. So, it sucked... up one side and down the other, as Pacey Witter would say.

Sometimes these things come very easy to me, and other times I can't find one original thing to talk about or idea to explore. Thanks for playing anyway.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Twenty One

Literally thought I had nothing to talk about for this one, and turns out... I was right.

Somehow, Twilight makes another appearance.

Grazie, or "thank you" in Dutch.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Twenty

Well, well, well.

Things have finally gotten serious. SERIOUS. All caps. Things have been unfunny, and they have been weird, but now they are getting straight up real.

This one was not fun because I let the camera roll for minutes and minutes while I just thought out loud, with no sort of structure or argument whatsoever. Still, I felt it was important to actually say what I thought about it than just going for what could maybe possibly somewhere get a laugh.

Without further ado...

Thank you for everything that you are.

"This B is TV-Free": Day Nineteen

So, I'm sleepy.


I'm sorry for talking about my anatomy in this one... but, like, have you seen my calves?

For every person who has said something nice about these, or even thought it, it means a lot.

Monday, March 4, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Eighteen

There is nothing of value here, EXCEPT FOR TAYLOR SWIFT AND GOATS.

Also, I have to thank these fools for always being good sports.

Welcome back to the states, Mel. Thank you, lovelies.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Seventeen

Zero motivation to do this. And if you're thinking what I'm thinking - you're over this and it's lame and it's dumb and it's bad.

But I'll continue on... because that's logical. Only 30 more of these until Easter.


Without TV, I've been spending about 90% of my time listening/watching music, so if anyone wants to offer up some new suggestions for me, I am game. 

Thanks for everything.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Sixteen

God, so badly do I want to recut this with the "Sweet Sixteen" intro playing before the video, but alas, it is after midnight on a Friday in Lent, so I obviously have a date with a steak.

If you want to get buzzed, drink every time I say "you know." If you want to get obliterated, let me know and I will send you a mega cut of all the "you know"'s I cut out. Why do I talk like that, you know?

Gracias, amigos.

Friday, March 1, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Fifteen

Don't say I never give you exotic locales!

I will never chew gum again. Ever. In my life. Get some sleep.

I love you, always, forever, near and far, closer together.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Fourteen

If "enough" "people" watch this, I'll post a "bonus" video... of all the yawns I cut out of these last two videos. Strep makes you sleepy as fuck, whatever that means!

Another failed impression for you. Darrell Hammond called and asked me not to ruin his (Ethan) craft anymore.

Thanks for everything, all the time always.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Thirteen

My body is practically shut down at the moment, so it's hard for me to think. Hopefully I can do comedy again tomorrow.

In the meantime, Amy Poehler.

Also, thanks for spending time on this. Maybe it's nothing to you, but it's everything to me... I don't get much sappier than that.

Monday, February 25, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Twelve

I apologize for my manners in this video, but I'm about to pass out hardcore to some Nyquil, so I ain't got time to care.

Anyway, enjoy my sordid affair with Panda Express.

And, also, Jennifer Lawrence.

Dear Lovelies, I love you. Love, B (Beyonce and/or Barbara)

Sunday, February 24, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Eleven

JENNIFER LAWRENCEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just can't even.

And I'm running on caffeine for the first time in like a week anddddd headache tomorrow for sure, totally worth it, for not sure.

Another impression in there for you guys.

Thank you thank you thank you!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Ten

Well, this is officially the earliest in the day I've ever posted the video. Now, let me do nothing else the rest of the day...

And I am aware that "Best Actress in a Leading Movie" is not a category... but it should be.

Thanks, I love you, some of you, figure it out.

"This B is TV-Free": Day Nine

Another one with guest stars! The other one I planned a lot, and this one I planned not at all. Two very different experiences, both very fun, both kind of hard to cut.

The best thing about this was that something was FINALLY spoiled for me. I had no idea about what was going on with Ann Perkins and Chris. That's a genuine reaction. And that was pretty cool.

Also, who knew we had so many musicians up in here? Thanks for everything, all the time always.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Eight

You'll notice (you probably won't) that I just start talking about today, Thursday, like it is yesterday, Wednesday, but, in a way, in context, yesterday is today... and today is the future? That has been the hardest thing, keeping the timeline straight. And having a holiday on Monday, like, what is this week?

Also, I cut my finger on the ironing BOARD. Clarity, Barbara. 

Thank you, lovelies, for watching or not watching. Thank you for being lovelies.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Seven

Back to me, hanging out, alone, and talking to myself.

One week in, and there is still two minutes of footage where I just sit around until I am comfortable enough to speak. THAT shit is funny.

And I got some new glasses today. Which are sitting on top of my head... cool story, bro!

"This B is TV-Free": Day Six

THIS video, more than any of the others before (collect all five!), has been a real journey. Shooting with other people made me a lot less nervous, and I really enjoyed it. I actually felt really comfortable.

However, something that cracks you up in a room with someone else might not actually be that funny for others to watch. Kind of why you never really see characters laughing on screen. No one at Dunder Mifflin laughed at Michael Scott, but audiences would laugh until they couldn't breathe for seven seasons. It's interesting. To me. Maybe not to you.

I know these girls are hilarious. I think this is funny. I've been cutting it for three and a half hours (yea, that's what I'm doing with all this "no-TV" time), so I hope that it is at least mildly entertaining.

Watch things get weird with us.

And drink. Drink heavily. 

Thanks, again, to everyone who reached out over the last few days.

Monday, February 18, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Five

This was a brutal one.

Let me first explain the reasoning to shoot in a murder shack, aka my garage. I'm still to nervous to do this with anyone within earshot. With a roommate in a one bedroom apartment, that is nearly impossible, so the garage or my car are really my only options. It's silly, I know.

And it's not funny, so I had to cheat it in a few places (why it looks so horrible too). But I'm sticking to it, and hopefully the next one is better. Everybody's learning shit up in here.

It's at least shorter than the others, so I hope it's not too insufferable. Thanks again for all that you do. Any thoughts, suggestions, requests - hit me up!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Four

Hey, do you like Beyonce? Then this video is definitely for you... again. Always going on about Beyonce.

Also, I do a terrible Fred Armisen impression, so there's that to look forward to.

Thanks, as always, for putting up with this.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Three

Changing up the location!!!!!!! CRAZY BUDGETS. BIG PRODUCTION. COMPANY MOVES.

I apologize for the Photo Booth Inception experience that makes it look like I drive on the passenger side of the car. Oh, I mean, I did. "We" moved the "show" to England.

Thanks, as always, for the support, well-wishes, and for not calling me out on this shit in public places.

Friday, February 15, 2013

"This B is TV-Free": Day Two

This one is pretty boring, folks. I was more nervous than Day One, and my neighbor was making a lot of noise, so I thought he was listening and judging and hating and I was afraid to speak... alone... in my apartment. ALSO I WAS SUPER SAD ABOUT MISSING PARKS AND REC.

I'm hoping to get better at this. Thanks for your support. Or thanks for not telling me it sucks! Those are real friends.

I get all confused with my verb tenses because it's so weird remembering what day I'm in and what day I'm talking about... I also say "assuming" a lot. THANKS FOR POINTING OUT MY FLAWS.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

This B is TV-Free: Day One

Part of my New Year's Resolution (the ol' NYR, if you will) was to try more things that make me uncomfortable... the pap smear was fun and all, but I thought I'd mix it up with something else, which I thought fit perfectly with my courageous sacrifice of giving up television for Lent. So, I'm going to try putting myself in front of the camera talking about that and being boring about that. Not because I WANT to be there by any means, but mostly because I think it will open up another aspect of comedy that I haven't explored before. Basically, just know that this isn't just a shitty video blog (it is).

Without further ado...

God, don't I just sound like a young Max Greenfield. The voice every woman wishes she had.

And this is still a work in progress. I'm open for feedback, but I won't listen to criticism... just kidding, let's build something together...?

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

TV-Free, the rules

I'm giving up television for Lent. Me. I know.

Get over it. I am.

I'm not. At all.

However, I've already had a hundred questions about my choice (3), so I'm just going to lay down the rules here for all my followers (3). Without further ado...

Barbara's TV-Free Lent FAQ's

1. Why?
Great question.

2. What qualifies as "television"?
I'm not watching any of my shows, and I'm not picking up any new shows during Lent. This means not live on my television screen, not recorded over the Slingbox, nothing later on Hulu, Netflix, or the various illegal sites that open 50 windows, most of them porn. I can't find clips on Youtube and slowly piece the entire episode together. I'm not outlawing gif's because those are unavoidable, and those are still pictures... placed sequentially after one another to create movement... DETAILS. Oh, but I DO plan on watching the Oscars because Adele and Norah will be playing and movies and shit.

3. Aren't you going to be a crazy bitch about spoilers?
No, because I'm a decent human being. Plus, I will be reading all about everything always, so let's talk about it. Let's gab. Also, I will allow recreations. They are actually encouraged. Hit me up.

4. Won't your life lack a purpose?
Didn't Christ die on the cross for us so that we might feel worthless and depressed all the time? No? What am I thinking of? High school? I just want to see what I can accomplish with these extra ten hours a week. I've set the bar pretty low, considering the first thing I did with my first TV-free-hour is write about my TV-free-hour.

5. How do you feel about your choice?

SO, there's that. Stay tuned, I plan on journaling my feelings about all of this from here on out... because I have a lot of them.